Whether you are the one who cheated or the one who was cheated on, there is going to be a problem with trust after an affair. Those who were the cheaters and who are truly sorry, want to be trusted again so that the relationship can be saved. Those who were the ones cheated on might want to forgive and move on, but it can be hard to find the ability to trust someone again.

No matter what, it is important to realize that a terrible thing has happened and that there are hurt feelings and mixed emotions from both parties. The first thing that the two of you have to do is to stop lying to each other. No matter what, make sure that you are both being honest about everything – right down to the insecure feelings that you may have ended up with after all of the cheating came to light. Do not continue to add insult to injury by telling lies in order to “soften the blow” because you will only make things worse.

So many people who have cheated find themselves placing blame. They blame their partner, the job, stress and just about anything else under the sun. Do not try to mask the seriousness of what has happened. It is also important to make sure that neither person contacts the “other man” or “other woman”. That person has no place in your lives now so in order to move on, all communication with that other person must be put to a stop right away.

Another way to help make sure that trust is built back into the relationship is to allow the victim spouse or lover to check up on you. You might consider this an invasion of privacy but you lost those privacy privileges when you cheated. Allow your hurt partner check up on you and ask you where you are going and when you will be back each time you leave the house. Once trust is built back up again, you will find that you will regain those privacy privileges. The fact is, losing them for a little while is a part of regaining that trust back.

As the victim or as the person who cheated, do not try to put a time limit on how long the recovery process should take. Emotional healing can take different amounts of time for everyone and you won’t know how long it will take for the trust to be rebuilt until it is finished being rebuilt. Getting upset that the person you hurt is not “over it” yet is just a way to help make sure that you are never given trust back.

As you can already tell, there is a long road ahead of you but the good news is that it is possible to rebuild trust after an affair.

Click here first to check out this website before you take the first steps towards rebuilding your relationship.