Love is a very strange thing. One minute you’re making out like high school kids on the couch and the next someone is packing their bags, slamming the door, and squealing tires out of the driveway. In some cases it is a series of petty arguments that take the relationship from one point to another, while in other cases it can be infidelity, abuse, or other serious situations that bring the relationship to an end.

So, what do you do when you want to win your love back? While the exact circumstances of your break-up and the personality of your ex will make some difference in how you go about doing this, there are some basic rules that need to be followed in all circumstances.

Rule #1: Threats have no place in a loving relationship.

When you want to win your love back, it is easy to resort to dirty tactics like making threats to get your ex to come back to you. You know a lot about this person and understand clearly their fears, frustrations, and worries. If you come up with threats like saying you will keep their children from seeing them or tell their family their deepest secrets, you may get them to come back for awhile but you will in no way win back their love.

You don’t want to force them to come back. Rather, you want to win them back because they have chosen you and want to be with you. Someone in a relationship due to threats will be unhappy and unpleasant to be around while someone who has chosen to come back will be very happy and eager to make it work in the long term.

Keep the treats out of the equation and play fair. Don’t throw their dirt up in their face, as tempting as that may be right now.

Rule #2: Dig down deep to understand what you can do better.

Rather than demanding an apology from your ex or blaming them for everything, honestly assess what blame you have for the destruction of the relationship and openly accept that blame. You probably already know what mistakes you made, but you have to swallow your pride and openly admit these weaknesses to your ex. That is the only way to open them up and encourage them to do the same.

One person usually does not create the destruction of a relationship, even in the case of infidelity. There are usually weaknesses within the relationship that allow the infidelity to happen. Both people involved must acknowledge what they did wrong if they are ever to fix it and do it right in the future.

Rule #3: Don’t be a doormat.

No matter how bad you want to win back the love of your life, you can’t be the one to shoulder all the blame and you should not be willing to accept things that you don’t agree with. For instance, if your ex cheated on you but has never acknowledge that the affair was wrong and wants to continue a “friendship” with the person they cheated with, you should not accept those relationship terms. You may not get them back if you stand your ground, but the relationship won’t last long if you are unhappy anyway.

Just make sure the terms of the relationship are reasonable and that both of you are acknowledging your fair share of the blame.

To give yourself the best chance of winning them back quickly, click here first to follow a proven path towards getting back for good.