Admittedly, your cheating ways can become the end of the relationship. After all, you have just betrayed him with another man and it does not even matter if it was a physical affair or an emotional adultery. Your man will feel confused, betrayed and enraged by your infidelity.
You should accept these negative emotions as normal reactions. Indeed, you have to place yourself in his shoes and empathize with what he is feeling. This is the first step in getting back with your boyfriend after cheating on him – accept your responsibility for your actions, totally and wholly, without reservations and without blaming others.
But just because you have accepted the responsibility for your cheating ways does not mean that you must take his physical, mental and verbal abuse, far from it. You should keep your distance at first, thus, giving him time and space to think things through about your relationship. Don’t call, text and see him in person even when you want and need to do so.
But keep in mind that your goal is to get back together with your boyfriend. You must prepare yourself for the long haul. After all, reconciliations after infidelity are never easy to accomplish because one of the main foundations of a good relationship – trust – has been seriously undermined.
While you are away from each other, you should accept the punishments, of sorts, that your boyfriend may lob in your way. He may date other girls, call on your phone to rant and even ignore you completely. For as long as nobody is getting hurt physically, suck it up because, in a way, you deserve it.
You will know if and when your boyfriend is ready to talk with a calmer demeanor. It will depend on the circumstances but if you know him well enough, you just know that it is the right time to talk about what happened.
You have to follow certain general guidelines while talking to him about your relationship and your affair. All of these tips are designed to help you and your boyfriend start the process of moving on after your infidelity.
* Just listen to what he has to say. Let him pour out his emotions but remember to set ground rules especially about verbal abuse.
* After he has finished with what he has to say, you should be allowed to have your say in the matter, too. However, your side of the story should be confined to accepting your responsibility, saying your sincere apologies and asking for a second chance at love. Do not make the mistake of assigning the blame to anybody, least of all to him, because your choices are yours and yours alone.
* Spare him the details of the affair. Men are not like women in the sense that we must have all the details – times, dates and places – of the affair to arrive at closure.
* Show your love for him through words and actions. Initially, he may not be receptive to your displays of affection but time has a way of healing all wounds. Just keep at it and you should see positive results.
Ultimately, your mutual love will overcome the challenges of your infidelity if and when you both work hard at it. Let’s hope that you will return the favor when he, too, makes the mistake.
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