So, you are separated from your spouse and want them back before an actual divorce is filed through the courts. Or, perhaps you have already been officially divorced but it just doesn’t feel right. You miss your spouse and believe you threw the relationship out too quickly. What are your chances of actually getting your ex spouse back and keeping them this time?
#1: Evaluate Your Intentions
The chances vary according to your exact situation, but the first thing you have to do is make absolute sure that you actually do want to get your spouse back. It isn’t fair to play with someone’s heart if you are dealing with other emotions but do not really want them back for the long term.
For instance, it is completely normal to feel intense jealousy and pain when you find out your ex spouse has found someone new or has been seen out on dates with other people. These emotions can be intense, but they don’t always mean that you want your ex spouse back for yourself.
Whatever the situation may be, honestly evaluate your emotions and determine if you are just experiencing emotions as you both try to move on with your lives or if you seriously do want your ex spouse back for keeps. It is only fair to move on with trying to get them back if you want them back forever and your heart is fully in it.
#2: Feel Them Out
The first thing you have to do is try to determine where your ex spouse stands in terms of their own emotions and desires. If you are still in contact with them or have a natural way of “bumping into” them, you can ask them some subtle questions to see what they may be thinking. You may even be able to tell by their body language and facial expressions as you talk with them whether they are still feeling for you or not.
If that doesn’t work, you can always try to ask questions form your ex spouses friends or relatives that you may still have some contact with. You just want to know how they are doing without you, if they are still thinking about you, or if they have moved on completely. From this you will be able to determine whether you have a big fight on your hands or if they may want to reunite as well.
#3: Take It Slow
Whether they want you back or not, it is very important that you take the process of reuniting slowly. If you jump straight back into another relationship without analyzing and discussing in-depth what went wrong the first time around, then you are likely to find yourself having the same fights and struggles all over again.
Spend the time to get to know your ex spouse as if they are a completely new person that you have just met. Everyone changes during a marriage so you are two very different people at this point. Go out on dates, have long phone conversations, and slowly start to win them back over. You want to back up the relationship to step one and show them that you can be that kind-hearted, loving person they once fell head-over-heels for.
Check out this website first before you take the first steps towards winning them back.