Breaking up is hard to do…especially when you didn’t want to break up in the first place. If you’re still swooning over your ex-girlfriend and wishing you had her back in your arms, there are several strategies to go about winning her back. Before you engage, however, don’t be in denial about the reality of things. If your relationship was toxic and unhealthy, you are better off leaving it alone. However, if you can’t live without her, take these steps to get her back.

First, do not chase her. You must stop being over-zealous in your text, emails, and phone calls as no girl thinks desperation is a quality characteristic. By playing it cool and acting nonchalant, you will slowly entice your girl back into your life through genuine means. It is important that she wants to come back and you don’t set her up through false pretense. Honesty is always the best policy.

Second, work on yourself. Join a gym and get your muscles back in the game. Nothing is sexier to a woman than a man who takes care of himself. Try facing and overcoming your greatest weakness. By changing the things that weren’t conducive to your relationship in the first place, you are able to build a new foundation on mutual respect.

Third, get rid of the negativity. The only thing worse about breaking up is reliving the emotions that led to the break-up. Don’t weigh down fresh opportunity with old problems and issues. If you feel you need to purge some of the negativity, try writing a letter that states everything you hated about the relationship. Be very detailed and thorough. Once you are done – burn it. Let this be the catharsis into a new beginning for you and your girl.

Fourth, be grateful. Nothing in life is perfect. So when things actually work out in your favor, be sure to pay the proper respect and gratitude to your situation. For example, each day begin by counting your blessings. Show appreciation for the things taken most for granted, such as food, shelter and your health. By realizing how worthwhile things in your life are, you can henceforth become a better person because of it. After all, positive thinking brings positive things.

Finally, be open to try new things – even date again. Opening up your social circle and meeting new people is a way to expand your horizons. Don’t get too excited, however, as it doesn’t mean you should involve yourself with every girl that comes along. Pick a girl who interests you both mentally and physically so when your ex-girlfriend sees you again, she will see an attractive person who has it together.

Just remember – if you love her, then she is worth fighting for. Click here first to check out this website before you take the next steps towards winning her back.